i can fly
i can touch the sky...
that now you are probably singing a little ditty from Space Jam
Seriously though I believe-
in wearing fun socks- I may have to "dress up" for work but I will wear Christmas socks year round
in honesty
in my friends and will support them no matter what
that if you are in love, you should be able to marry whomever you want
that the friends I have at this stage in my life are the best I have ever had
that the sound of my niece laughing may be the best sound I have ever heard
that my and Allyson's car dances should be televised
that chocolate does make my day better
that I can have PMS no matter what time of month it is, because basically isn't everyday PRE to something
that if you cut me off or will not let me over on the road that I have the right to question your very existence
that Rage Against the Machine can help me Rage Against the Machine if by machine you mean work
that if you sneak up on me I have every right to junk punch you
that my animals are/ were my children
in breakfast for dinner
that my family could not be any more awesome
that cube dancing is essential to my job performance and if I could I would put it in my review
that I can make any situation awkward
in writing and receiving letters - there is still a great feeling behind getting a letter/card in the mail
that unless you work in a nail salon there should be NO clipping fingernails at work
that the word hoss is awesome- hossome if you will
that a good t-shirt is still good even if it has several holes, as long as you use good judgement in regards to where you wear it
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
it's the eye of the tiger
it is said that if you encounter a bear to remain still/passive or play dead. I do not think that I would be able to do anything of the sort. Let me encounter an animal who is deterred by a person going bat shit scared and then I should be fine.
My usual reaction to something scary is to scream like a little bitch. Unfortunately for me, this never happens when I am alone. The latest incident was a couple of weeks ago my parents were visiting and my dad and I were standing in the kitchen talking. I backed up against the garbage can and triggered the lid to open and seriously almost peed my pants. I let out my bitch shriek and spilled the water bowl I was holding all over the kitchen.
One of my favorite scares is when I had a mouse in the house and Allyson and I were picking up traps (after it had been caught). As stated in a previous blog, I never do anything half-assed so there were quite a few unused traps that had been set. We were picking up the unmoused traps and I was sure to let Al know that she needed to be careful so one didn't snap her. And yes, I used snap traps, not the humane ones. I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE. So anyway, I put the traps in a garbage bag and of course one snapped.... this was not a little scream by any means.... I would be willing to place money that it at least lasted 7 seconds..which is a long time in scream terms. This of course let into one of my and Al's laughing fits where neither of us can breathe.
Last week when I came home at lunch I was frightened by a hawk with a broken wing in my yard... I gasped and wondered how in the heck I was going to get in the house when I realized it was a silkie puppy eating grass.
I also often get scared by my raincoat at work. I have to hang it on the side of my cube and I catch it out of the corner of my eye and think it is a person standing there...this is the time I let out what I call Yelling the Whispershits..which is exactly what it sounds like whisper yelling the word shit. it is not necessarily your inside voice but low enough that not too many people hear.
I also freak out when birds fly at the window.. so much so that I actually duck down. Birds are strong, people. I think they could break the window if they knew I was on the other side of it. Birds also freak me out in the parking lot. There are crows that sit on the light near where I park that have made me late to work because I have to wait on them to fly away. There is a reason that groups of crows are called MURDERS. Seriously.
My usual reaction to something scary is to scream like a little bitch. Unfortunately for me, this never happens when I am alone. The latest incident was a couple of weeks ago my parents were visiting and my dad and I were standing in the kitchen talking. I backed up against the garbage can and triggered the lid to open and seriously almost peed my pants. I let out my bitch shriek and spilled the water bowl I was holding all over the kitchen.
One of my favorite scares is when I had a mouse in the house and Allyson and I were picking up traps (after it had been caught). As stated in a previous blog, I never do anything half-assed so there were quite a few unused traps that had been set. We were picking up the unmoused traps and I was sure to let Al know that she needed to be careful so one didn't snap her. And yes, I used snap traps, not the humane ones. I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE. So anyway, I put the traps in a garbage bag and of course one snapped.... this was not a little scream by any means.... I would be willing to place money that it at least lasted 7 seconds..which is a long time in scream terms. This of course let into one of my and Al's laughing fits where neither of us can breathe.
Last week when I came home at lunch I was frightened by a hawk with a broken wing in my yard... I gasped and wondered how in the heck I was going to get in the house when I realized it was a silkie puppy eating grass.
I also often get scared by my raincoat at work. I have to hang it on the side of my cube and I catch it out of the corner of my eye and think it is a person standing there...this is the time I let out what I call Yelling the Whispershits..which is exactly what it sounds like whisper yelling the word shit. it is not necessarily your inside voice but low enough that not too many people hear.
I also freak out when birds fly at the window.. so much so that I actually duck down. Birds are strong, people. I think they could break the window if they knew I was on the other side of it. Birds also freak me out in the parking lot. There are crows that sit on the light near where I park that have made me late to work because I have to wait on them to fly away. There is a reason that groups of crows are called MURDERS. Seriously.
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